Home again, home again...
Thoughts on travel & FOMO, plus: Kirtan this Friday.
Home again, home again…
It turns out, Vienna is really far away.
It’s also very beautiful and impressive and the food was delicious and art was everywhere and I am so thankful to have shared such an adventure with four of the people I love most in the world.
And, I’m so glad to be home.
Every time Alex and I travel somewhere, anywhere, we can’t help but ask ourselves: “Could we live here?” Not that we’re planning to move - but there’s something about traveling that always makes us wonder: What if?
He was born and raised in Rebstein, Switzerland, a small town about 30 minutes away from the nearest Swiss Alp. When he was 20, he moved to Medina, OH, and at 30, to Portland, OR. Still, he has fantasies of moving somewhere else, someday.
I was born and raised on a bison farm in Newark, New York, a small town about an hour away from the first restaurant to serve something called a Garbage Plate. At 28, I sold everything and moved to Portland. I didn’t have to learn a new language like Alex did, but it still felt adventurous and new and bold. Ten years later, I have fantasies of moving somewhere else, someday.
It’s fun to think about moving, as long as I remember I don’t have to do it. I could do it, and maybe someday I will, but perhaps knowing that is enough. A daydream does not require followup action steps.
Months ago, I heard sex therapist, Vanessa Marin, say on a podcast, “A lot of us think… if I have a fantasy about something, that must mean that I want to try it… and that’s just not [necessarily] true. Plenty of us have fantasies that are fun to play with in our minds, but we wouldn’t want to do in real life.” She proposed that sometimes, just sharing a bold or wild idea with your partner was enough.
I think the same is true for daydreams.
If we always feel like we have to do something just because we think it, we will constantly have FOMO-induced anxiety. On the other hand, if we don’t allow ourselves to fantasize, to dream, to consider “what might it be like if…” then we kill our creative spirit.
I want to leave space to dream without action.
I want to let myself imagine without immediately asking, “But is that realistic?”
I want to remember that it is okay to want something, and leave it at that; not every wish can be granted.
I want to remember that limitations often inspire creativity.
I love imagining an alternate life: Alex and I living in Vienna, or Zurich, or a chalet in the Alps, or a hut in Yelapa, or a commune near the coast, or a van that we can park anywhere…
And I love where I live right now. I love my community, my people, my animals, how close I live to Mt. Tabor, how I can see Mt. Hood every time we take the dogs to Thousand Acres… I love knowing that I could make any number of big, sweeping changes, and that also, I don’t have to. Things will change anyway.
I am so happy to be home.
And I am so happy that I get to see some of you this Friday for Community Kirtan, part 2. After so much time in the sky, I am very much looking forward to sitting on the ground with people I love, sharing music and song and vibration. If you’re around, I’d love to see you.
In the meantime, I am wishing you time to rest, to dream, to imagine, to play. Keep holding each other in this big, big world.
Love,
Abby
Upcoming Events w/ Abby:
…and please stay tuned re: this Fall’s retreat! There were some hiccups, but we’re getting there… In the meantime, if you want to join the waitlist, add your name here. :)