You are worthy of rest.
"We must believe we are worthy of rest." - Tricia Hersey
You are worthy of rest.
Hello, dear ones,
I’ll be honest: It’s been hard for me to focus on work lately.
Maybe you heard that Alex and I got married on Halloween (if you didn’t, here’s the story!). It was a beautiful, whimsical, and joyful night!
I’ve also been distracted by some deeply personal things in the last couple of weeks (which I will write about soon, but not today).
And still, life moves on…
I will be taking time off this weekend, and probably some of next week, too. But before I disappear, I want to share this golden nugget from the great and wonderful Martha Beck, as it resonated with me deeply:
“Notice if you feel compelled to jump in and fix things to make them go faster, [or] to make [someone else’s] life perfect… If you notice this happening, see if you can relax until the compulsion goes away. Untroubled presence helps people thrive. Anxious advice, even when it’s accurate and loving, tends to create stalemates.” (We Can Do Hard Things, Episode 253)
Of course, there are times when helping is necessary and beautiful (especially with issues of social justice, and using one’s power and privilege to help those who are marginalized or under-served). She is not talking about those times. She is talking about the all-too-common habit that so many of us “natural born helpers” have to step in because we think the world will fall apart without our brilliant solution and immediate assistance. Those are the times that she invites us to relax, and to remember that yes, others will suffer, but no, it is not up to us to single-handedly make everyone else’s suffering disappear.
This month, I am trying to notice this tendency in myself. I am trying to determine when it is actually helpful to help, and when it is not. And, sometimes even more difficult to admit, I am trying to notice when I actually have the capacity to help, and when I do not. As Tricia Hersey reminds us, “Productivity should not look like exhaustion”; “we must believe we are worthy of rest” (Rest is Resistance: A Manifesto).
Rest well this weekend, and take good care of your hearts,
Abby
